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Debra Ann VonFange-Wilson's Story

5/29/2014

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Debbie was born in the flood of July, 1951 in Lincoln, Kansas and was taken by boat across the river to the hospital.  She lived in Lincoln until her father Donald accepted a position to manage the Gambles Hardware store in Harper, KS.  There she attended Elementary school.  When her father accepted the position of purchasing agent for Harper Trucks, a manufacturer of mobile hand trucks and dolleys, which relocated to Wichita, Debbie attended Truesdale Junior High in the 8th grade.  Her musical interest brought her to the Truesdale concert band where she played in the percussion section,  one of only two girls.  That is where she met Bart.  They also went to the same church and high school.  Debbie was confirmed in the Lutheran Church where part of the confirmation ritual was to choose a “confirmation verse” that was to be yours to live into.  Debbie chose Isaiah 41:10. That verse served her well into the final days here on earth.  She walked 25 miles with her church youth group in the first “Hike for the Hungry”, a national hunger awareness project that raised money to help fight world hunger in the late 60’s and  spent a short time in the Kansas “Up with People” music group.

 In the summer before her senior year she tried out for Drum Major of the South High School Fighting Colonels Marching Band.  She didn’t make it, some tall skinny 130 pound junior got the position instead [oh that skinny guy was Bart Wilson].  Somehow, one might think, if you can’t be the drum major, at least you might think about dating the drum major, who is also in your church youth group, and was also kind of a funny guy.  Well, regardless of her reason, they found each other and started dating in 1968.  

Debbie graduated from South in 1969 and went away to college, all the way to Hutchinson Community College.  Being a college girl now and Bart just a senior in high school they decided it was time to date other people, not a plan Bart was happy with.   Thankfully, and to the hurt feelings of Bart’s homecoming date, Debbie changed her mind and decided that maybe it was OK to stay with this guy she kinda developed a fondness for.  That’s right, Bart dumped a sweet girl at the last minute to take the love of his life, this college freshman to the South High homecoming dance.  He was on top of the world and she was, as always, the most beautiful girl in the world.  

Well, their relationship continued to develop through college, Debbie coming back to Wichita and getting her degree in English Education from WSU.   They were married  August 13, 1972 and moved to Kansas State University where Bart continued to pursue his college degree in Architecture.  While at K-State, Debbie taught High School English at Wamego High School.  She spent many weekends and evenings on speech and debate tournaments and directing school plays, while Bart spent his time in Manhattan.  During this period Debbie and Bart were youth sponsors for their small Wamego Lutheran church.

The next part of their lives was complicated but ended up with Bart Managing a new IGA Grocery store in Clay Center, Kansas and Debbie leaving teaching to work at the Clay Center Library as children’s Librarian.  Adrianne came into our lives in 1979 and was born a 35 minute drive from Clay Center in Manhattan, KS.  In 1981 Miranda joined us  and was born in Clay Center.  Debbie had always had an interest in all things creative and that pulled her back into college where she took classes towards an art degree at K-State.  A few difficult years and a business failure brought the Wilson’s back home to Wichita where Debbie completed her degree in Art at WSU.  She also went to work at the City Library downtown in talking books, a service for the visually impaired.***  She spent the remainder of her working career at the library eventually moving back into the children’s department where she developed children’s programming.  Debbie’s passion for art brought her into the art community through Gallery XII, an artist coop, and then her own studio in Artist’s at Old Town where she painted until she could no longer find the energy going through Cancer treatment. 

Debbie also had a passion for the under-privileged and spent several years volunteering at Someplace Else, an HIV home sponsored by the New Jerusalem Mission here in Wichita.  

She worked full time, raised two beautiful daughters, found time for her art and still found a way to serve others in need.  

She spent a great deal of time encouraging our girls to discover their passions and got them involved in AYSO soccer, gymnastics, tried piano lessons but succeeded in helping them find something they enjoyed in music.  Adrianne played the clarinet and Miranda the trumpet in middle school and sadly the high school band uniforms were not the fashion statement either wanted to make so they turned to vocal music, where they also excelled.   Debbie was an incredible mom, dad was the pushover and Debbie often played the heavy when it came to disciplining the girls.  She did so with patience and love.

Money was always tight in the family but Debbie was a shopper, looking everywhere to find just the right thing at the best price.  She sewed a lot of the girls clothes when they were younger and loved garage sales, where she found lots of treasures.  They bought their first house just outside the college hill area and Deb loved renovating and fixing it up.  She had that creative touch and everything she did was wonderful.  She started a “Craft boutique and art show” at Bethany Lutheran church when the girls were young and it continues yearly to this day.   She created a couple of special banners for weddings and a large painting for Valentines day at College Hill UMC.  She also painted a large mural in the youth Center in honor of one of their devoted youth sponsors who spent years inspiring youth.   Debbie went on a couple of youth mission trips as a sponsor and always found a way to do little things behind the scenes to help.  

She organized two weddings in two years and devoted the past 5 years to her grandsons, who she adored.  Every shopping trip would always find boys toys or clothes as part of her purchases.  Trips to be with them were proceeded with the gathering of supplies and projects to do with her boys.  Even through all of her cancer treatments, the anticipation of time with her girls and grandsons kept her going.  

In her final years, she never let go of the foundation of her life, based in her understanding of the God of the universe who loves us and comes to be with us in a personal relationship that leads us on an amazing journey into an eternity with Him.

*** Life Happens but sometimes there are choices.

During Debbie’s time in talking books, there was a young high school student who volunteered for the summer at the library.  She was assigned to Deb’s department.  Debbie always found ways to make everyone around her feel welcome and comfortable, but there was something special about the bright eyed girl full of energy, smart and always full of smiles.  For some reason, they just hit it off and their relationship grew into one of those rare “mother/daughter” friendships.   We call her our chosen, though more aptly put, God chose us to be part of her life and she has blessed us ever since.  We are blessed to be called mom and dad, and grandma and grandpa by her children.  Kim-Luong Dao Nguyen is a part of our family and our 4 additional grandchildren, Vicki, Tohni, Michelle and Phillip bring us great joy.   Luong is a part of Debbie’s Story. 

written with love by her other half, Bart

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At Peace, At Home Full of Joy in Christ our Savior

5/20/2014

11 Comments

 
Debbie, my bride of almost 42 years, walked home hand in hand with our God last night around 9 pm.  We were blessed to be there, Adrianne, Miranda, her sister Vicki and her husband Bill.  While we are saddened that we will not have her next to us, or at the other end of a wonderful phone conversation,  or the recipient of her thoughtfulness and concern for those she loved, we celebrate with great joy the victory of a life that doesn't end here but continues forever in the perfect relationship with a passionate, loving God through Jesus Christ. 
Yesterday as Chaplain Brenda was with us, she picked up Sarah Young's 'Jesus Calling' and read the message/passage for May 19th.  Here is an excerpt [written in the voice of Jesus to us, pulled from Holy Scripture]:
"I want you to know how safe and secure you are in My Presence.  That is a fact, totally independent of your feelings.  You are on your way to Heaven; nothing can prevent you from reaching that destination.  There you will see Me face to Face, and your Joy will be off the charts by any earthly standards. Even now, you are never separated from Me, though you must see Me through the eyes of faith.  I will walk with you until the end of time, and onward into eternity." From 1 Corinthians 13:12; Pslam 29:11
May Debbie's Jesus also bring you Joy through your tears knowing that through Him, we will one day see her again.  As Sawyer, our oldest grandson said, "when we get to heaven and we see Bebe again, she will have things planned out for us to do together."  He knows his grandma and he knows our God.  'nough said.

Bart 

As plans are made for Debbie's memorial service, we will place that information here.  Thank you to all of our friends for so much.

Obituary:
http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/kansas/obituary.aspx?n=debra-anne-wilson-debbie&pid=171119759
http://www.heritageofandover.com/home/index.cfm/obituaries/view/id/2526449

Memorial Service:
Saturday, May 31, 2014 - 1:00 PM
East Heights United Methodist Church
4407 East Douglas, Wichita, Kansas

Memorials can be made to:

Victory in the Valley, 3755 E. Douglas Ave, Wichita, KS 67218
Caring Ministries of East Heights UMC [address above]
Harry Hynes Memorial Hospice 313 S. Market Street, Wichita, KS 67202
 
11 Comments

The Final Chapter

5/19/2014

5 Comments

 
We are in the last few days with Deb.  She is comfortable.  Adrianne and Miranda are here with us now.  We are waiting for the final things that Deb is here to accomplish for His purposes and His glory.  We are thankful for the many people who have reached out to us with so many different things; texts, email, visits, food, prayers and flowers.  I know Debbie has touched so many lives and her faithful journey has been an inspiration to me and many of you.  We are weary but hopeful, saddened but thankful, blessed by our loving God's tight embrace.  He is never farther than the breath we take, not distracted or unfocused.  His Holy Spirit has been holding Debbie so close as her physical body does what it was created to do in it's final shutdown.  
My Lord and savior has been whispering to me several times a day, when I get weary; "...stay awake with me...'  from the Gethsemene text in Matthew 26:38.  He is reminding me to Trust Him, watch Him and don't let the circumstances around me distract me from His work through Debbie in these final days. Keep awake and alert so I don't miss anything He is doing in keeping His promise to Debbie and to us all, that through Christ, we live on in His perfect love and eternal relationship. God is faithful in all things.  

Bart
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What a Blessing . . . 

5/17/2014

1 Comment

 
For the past 2 weeks our "chosen daughter" Luong has been with us, taking care of us and giving me a lot of peace of mind.  Today she flies home to Phoenix to re-join her family.  I am thankful that she has been part of our lives since she was a youngster and that we are part of her family too.  Thank you Luong, we love you and the grandkids.

Deb is stable over the last 24 hours, We are just working to keep her comfortable.  Adrianne and Miranda will come back into Wichita Sunday so they can be here with me and Deb in the remaining days til Deb Goes home.

Debbie's High school friend Betty, sent this to us today and it is worth remembering:
     "The Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body".           Phil 3:21

Bart
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Light at the End of the Tunnel

5/16/2014

3 Comments

 
Deb has entered the last stages of her disease and is now sleeping as her body prepares to shut down.  We are keeping a constant watch and she is receiving all the pain medication and support needed to make sure she is comfortable.  We are always thankful that Christ our Lord is right here with us in the Holy Spirit who is keeping her in His constant care in the transition from her mortal body to what she was created to be.  This is the promise of our Savior, the one who loves us so much He came to us and took our place to suffer the consequences of our self indulgent nature so we could become the people we were created to be, forever with Him.
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It's a Hard Days Night

5/15/2014

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The Past couple of days have been the hardest as Deb has been less responsive to our conversations.  Brain connections are failing more and she has been sleeping now about 22 hours a day.  She is showing no signs of pain or discomfort and her breathing has become more regular from its more apnea like periods of time without breathing and then gasps.  That has reduced our stress being with her.  We continue to thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.                                         1 Peter 5:6-7
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Monday Monday...

5/12/2014

7 Comments

 
Marilyn shared a scripture passage with us that help lift me out of the Monday morning doldrums.  Ps. 31:11-12 "You turned my wailing into dancing: You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."  
It's been a long weekend, Debbie continues to see her body shutting down.  The connections between her thoughts and the muscles in her throat and mouth that enable her to share those thoughts has broken down, which is a little frustrating for her and for us.  She rarely makes eye contact but we know she hears the things we say as sometimes  tries to respond but just isn't able to articulate.  I know there are a lot of friends who would like to stop by, but we're at the point where that is just not possible.  We are so thankful for all the texts and emails we receive that give us encouragement and affirmation of how much Deb is loved.  I try to take as many phone calls as possible but sometimes I just don't have the energy.  
Thank you all for your constant thoughts and prayers, we are so blessed by all of you.

Bart
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All Is Quiet in the Valley

5/9/2014

3 Comments

 
The 23rd Psalm rambled through my head this morning as our household once again got quiet.  Our children and grandkids have returned home after a wonderful week of memories and goodbyes.  Debbie is slowing slipping away as her transition home approaches.  It's getting hard for her to communicate from the progression of her cancer.  Through it all, she is in good spirits and living out her walk with Jesus from here to home with joy and peace.
Isaiah 26:3 reminds us, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."
Romans 8:28 also tells us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
Even on the darkest days, it is a good day in the Presence of our God who brings us through that darkness in His eternal light.  We are blessed.
Bart
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Strength for the Passing Days

5/7/2014

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In these times of waiting here are some songs Deb and I love and draw strength from:

Thy Will Be Done Joyce Eilers
http://youtu.be/w47HBm6AiRs

Hold Me Jesus - Rich Mullins
http://youtu.be/WTDRjqVIyVY

Blessings – Laura Story
http://youtu.be/XQan9L3yXjc

May God fill you with His peace and grace through this time of Deb's transition.

Bart
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Thank You For all the loving support

5/1/2014

7 Comments

 
Debbie began Hospice care on Monday the 28th.  She is in good spirits but is showing increased signs of fatigue.  Our family is coming in over the next few days to be with her and we have received so many wonderful calls, emails and texts from so many family and friends.  She treasures every one.  
"When you come before the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe He will ask one question and only one question, "Did you know how much I loved you?"        Rev. Brennan Manning 2005
This is one of our favorite quotes of late.  May you feel the infinite love of God in your life.

Bart
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    Debbie

    This is a place we shared Debbie's journey. Miranda is publishing Debbie's journal on a separate blog: Click here  We often find times when Christ our Lord is carrying us because we are too weak to walk, but we always know Jesus is right in the middle of it leading us through. All Praise and glory be to God our creator, redeemer and sustainer.

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