The rush of family and friends who came to show their love and support for Deb and I was so wonderful and was so important for Debbie to experience. In looking back over this time now, I wish I would have had more time alone with her. I know the girls wish they would have had more time as Deb started failing much sooner than we expected. As the toxins built up in her body she quickly began to lose focus and the ability to finish sentences or complete her thoughts. You could see the frustration in her eyes as she also found it hard to tell us what she was thinking and feeling.
The hardest part of her last few weeks was seeing her struggle physically, and while I may wish for more time, during that period I wished that God would take her sooner rather than later. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that in her head, she was right there with Jesus and He was holding her close through it all, and I know she felt that, which made it all OK.
The next few weeks will be hard once again for my girls and I as our memories of those last weeks all come flooding back. But through it all, I know that my God will be holding us close and reminding us of who He is and whose we are. Thank you God of the universe, my Father and sustainer. Thank you for helping in my unbelief.